Is that what turtles really look like??

What is going on with my dreams? This is the second time in a week that I've been trying to date one of my guy friends. Except this one was based in a super colonial-Nantucket looking island. And we were in the middle of a real life commercial about "Muck-be-gone -- the only way to make sure your house siding cleans itself". I was in a house siding commercial, but it was more like real life, not just a commercial. Anyways, one of my guy friends was there and I had a giant crush on him, tried to ask him out, he said he had some beer festival to go to, blah blah blah. I was heart broken. Then I saw a turtle. 

This turtle I saw? Totally messed up. It was trying to shed its shell. (Do they do that even??) But they way it was peeling it of was insane. Turns out dream turtles are like ancient sea creatures with about 50 legs that look like tooth picks. And those legs are only shell removers. And shells are peel-able. I didn't even know it was a turtle until its head reared over at me and hissed. I now understand why the Japanese are terrified of Godzilla, besides his size.

I also broke into my Grandma's house, smashed all her pumpkin cupcakes in order to form them into cookies. I was also doing this with the characters of South Park. Not real life versions, still cartoons. Just hanging out and trying to sneak smashed pumpkin cupcakes around my house. 

I have no idea what any of this means. 

A year in review

Wow. It's really been a year? Craaaazy. Last time I posted I was talking about ill-fitting jeans and Skittles (now that I think about it..those two may have had a correlation. Eff that, Skittles4Lyfe) I suppose I owe you all (all two of you) an explanation.

I've officially left Des Moines. Now living in the lovely city of Chicago. Circumstances changed in my life (which I'm not quite ready to discuss at this point. Give me about 12 beers and we'll talk). Worked an amaze-balls internship at Red Frog Events, and made so many new friends, and learned a LOT about myself. Currently unemployed, so I guess I have some free time to blog, and get famous and such (Jake Johnson, who plays Nick Miller on New Girl tweeted at me recently. Soak that up.) So I'm really going to start trying to be regular with this. Now, enough catching up, time for a dream.

To be honest, I'm not really sure what the eff happened last night in my dreams. The first half was one of my Chicago friends trying to make out with me, which is pretty weird (most of my Chicago friends assume I don't own real clothes, makeup, or a sense of hygiene, . Just kidding about the hygiene. But I really never tried to look good. Not so much a looker. oops) but I can't remember much. The second half was what got me.

I was definitely back in Ida Grove, shootin' some b-ball outside of the school (love Fresh Prince) when my ex-boyfriend and one of his best friends decided to challenge me in a game of two on two. I ended up teaming with a girl I played basketball with in high school (and she was dogshit. so bad.) I couldn't figure out how to change into athletic clothes. Don't get my started about the enigma that was my sports bra. Dream me couldn't figure it out. After about half an hour in dream time, I was finally laced up and ready to jam..only to find my ex making out with my teammate (bitch). I was like, "Who does that?!?" Ida Grove, obviously. The crazy thing is, is that the girl had recently gotten married, like a month ago. I brought that up, she just shrugs and smiles, and starts eating the face of my past man friend (she wasn't a zombie..yet) I do believe I was about to just go bananas on the court and throw down, but lucky for  ex-teammates dream face, I was awoken by my alarm.

I'm still really confused. I think it was the Trader Joe's potstickers I ate at 1am. Just a guess.