I didn't have any weird dreams last night, which is quite alarming since 1) I ate Chinese food and b) I watched a dinosaur show before I went to bed.(dinosaurs are awesome) And I got nothing. NOTHING. A bit disappointing to say the very least. So I had to come up with something...
Man hands.
Do you know what it's like to be a girl with man hands? I do. It's not pleasant. Sure, I can do lots of cool stuff like...umm....ok hands are hands. But they do look pretty cool when I do my velociraptor impression. (someday when I'm cool I'll post a picture of it. Until that day, I'm sure imagination will suffice) But thanks to this genetic mutation(thanks mom and dad) I can't paint my nails, wear rings, get a cute pair of gloves, or anything like that. You know why? Because it looks like a man is trying to wear them. It just doesn't work out well. Meeting people is awkward too. I go to shake their hand, and once they grasp mine, their eyes widen a bit, and try to sneek a peek at what they're dealing with. I also get the lovely nicknames like Meathooks or Banana Hands. I don't even know what that means. I've also gotten a few handjob jokes. THAT'S a great first impression...I'll admit, I laugh at the man hands episode of Seinfeld, but I die a little inside every time I do..
Ok, not really. But still. It kinda stinks. At least I have good hair.
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