I didn't have any weird dreams last night, which is quite alarming since 1) I ate Chinese food and b) I watched a dinosaur show before I went to bed.(dinosaurs are awesome) And I got nothing. NOTHING. A bit disappointing to say the very least. So I had to come up with something...
Man hands.
Do you know what it's like to be a girl with man hands? I do. It's not pleasant. Sure, I can do lots of cool stuff like...umm....ok hands are hands. But they do look pretty cool when I do my velociraptor impression. (someday when I'm cool I'll post a picture of it. Until that day, I'm sure imagination will suffice) But thanks to this genetic mutation(thanks mom and dad) I can't paint my nails, wear rings, get a cute pair of gloves, or anything like that. You know why? Because it looks like a man is trying to wear them. It just doesn't work out well. Meeting people is awkward too. I go to shake their hand, and once they grasp mine, their eyes widen a bit, and try to sneek a peek at what they're dealing with. I also get the lovely nicknames like Meathooks or Banana Hands. I don't even know what that means. I've also gotten a few handjob jokes. THAT'S a great first impression...I'll admit, I laugh at the man hands episode of Seinfeld, but I die a little inside every time I do..
Ok, not really. But still. It kinda stinks. At least I have good hair.
Showing posts with label chinese food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chinese food. Show all posts
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
I have rekindled an old flame
And that flame burns bright for one thing.
Chinese food.
Once I get the hankering for it, theres no stopping me. I'm like one of those kids at the park, you know the really annoying, screaming ones? Yeah, thats me until I get chinese food. It consumes me. Thank god I had a quick outlet tonight.
My friend Nick and I always eat together on Wednesday nights, our tradition. This evening we decided on Chinese, thank god (it ended the chance of me sobbing for chinese on days end). Our friend Nate came along too. One thing I learned at this dinner, is to not talk about your lady parts in front of guys. Nate almost threw up on two separate occasions. (I'm saying it was in the general conversation of lady parts, not just MY lady parts. and I'm sticking to that.) Upon hindsight of this conversation, I realize "Hey Gabi, maybe that is why you don't have a boyfriend." Then I immediately threw that thought to the wind. I'm awesome. If a man cant take a conversation about people feeling my uterus, then I don't know if you can really call him a man. Regardless of this all, I'm sure I'm going to have an awesome dream tonight thanks to the Chinese. So you have that to look forward to.
P.S. for some reason, my couch smells like feet.
Chinese food.
Once I get the hankering for it, theres no stopping me. I'm like one of those kids at the park, you know the really annoying, screaming ones? Yeah, thats me until I get chinese food. It consumes me. Thank god I had a quick outlet tonight.
My friend Nick and I always eat together on Wednesday nights, our tradition. This evening we decided on Chinese, thank god (it ended the chance of me sobbing for chinese on days end). Our friend Nate came along too. One thing I learned at this dinner, is to not talk about your lady parts in front of guys. Nate almost threw up on two separate occasions. (I'm saying it was in the general conversation of lady parts, not just MY lady parts. and I'm sticking to that.) Upon hindsight of this conversation, I realize "Hey Gabi, maybe that is why you don't have a boyfriend." Then I immediately threw that thought to the wind. I'm awesome. If a man cant take a conversation about people feeling my uterus, then I don't know if you can really call him a man. Regardless of this all, I'm sure I'm going to have an awesome dream tonight thanks to the Chinese. So you have that to look forward to.
P.S. for some reason, my couch smells like feet.
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